So today I want to talk about my anxiety and my anxiety disorder.
Up until I was three I was extremely shy and a lot quieter than the other kids my age. And then one day when I was about three I just stopped talking. I wouldnt say a word apart from talking to my family. So I was taken to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with Selective Mutism.
Selective Mutism is an anxiety disorder that causes you to stay silent in nearly all social situations.
I get minor panic attacks from it. Whenever I get asked a question I just freeze and my stomach lunges and my heart starts racing and it feels like time's stopped yet at the same time every second seems to last an hour.
I stayed silent the whole way through primary school. I didn't talk in church either. I got bullied in school for a lot of reasons. These are just a few: I was fat, ugly, didn't talk, was a Christian.
People didn't like anything about me and even my teacher mocked me. I had nobody to talk to about any of my problems and I felt so lonely and depressed.
When I went into secondary school I only knew one or two people which made it easier to talk. So I did. I'm in second year now and I talk all the time in school and at home but I still can't pluck up the courage to talk at church. I think it's because these are the people I'm closest with which makes it a lot harder.
But my goal for the summer of 2015 is to try and start talking in church which will be extremely difficult but I'll try my best.
So that's it for now. Leave a comment if you have anxiety or anything like that or comment saying what you would like me to blog about next.
Talk to you all later,